A Flashback & A Confession
by becca343
Summary: As Alex mopes in disappointment over Maggie having a girlfriend, she reminisces with Kara about the night she came out.


Alex was lounging on the couch, snuggled up in a blanket, a pint of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food in her lap, when she heard a key jingle in the door. She'd only given the key to her apartment to one person.

"Hi," Kara said as she entered.

"You normally knock," Alex said grumpily. If Kara had knocked she would've been able to hide the evidence of her moping.

"I thought you might be sleeping," Kara said. "I brought you ice cream," she continued, hoping to be forgiven. "But I see you've got that covered." Kara put the pint she'd brought into the freezer and cuddled up next to Alex.

"I don't want to talk about it." Alex said definitively.

"Okay," Kara replied, hands up in surrender. They sat in silence for a moment. "Do you want to finish watching?" She gestured to the screen that was paused in front of them. Alex shrugged and Kara clicked play. They sat quietly through about three minutes of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode, when Alex took the remote and pressed pause.

"Do you remember that night that I snuck out and you caught me?" Kara nodded. "And you remember what I said to you?" Kara nodded again. She remembered the night in its entirety.

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One night, shortly after Alex's 16th birthday, Kara awoke in the middle of the night and was startled to discover she couldn't hear Alex's heartbeat. She got out of bed and began to look around. Perhaps her powers were just particularly weak? No that couldn't be it because she could hear Jeremiah and Eliza's heartbeats just fine. She crept into Alex's room and discovered the window had been left open a crack.

Kara did a quick lap around the neighborhood. When she rounded the 24-hour diner, she heard Alex's heartbeat. She couldn't spot her sister through the windows, so she used her x ray vision to see through the brick wall. There sat Alex and a girl in her class, Kelly, smiling and laughing and drinking milkshakes. When Alex put her hand over Kelly's, Kara turned away and ran home, suddenly feeling as if she'd intruded.

Knowing Alex was safe, Kara got back into bed, but she couldn't sleep. Instead she sat awake thinking. She wondered about the smile Alex had been wearing. It was one Kara had never seen before. She wondered about Alex's hand on Kelly's and what that might or might not mean. She wondered why Alex needed to get milkshakes at 2:00 in the morning. Couldn't they go after dinner on a Friday night like other teens? About an hour later, Kara heard Alex's heartbeat again, and a weird creaking noise.

Kara crept back to Alex's room to discover Alex struggling to open the window, which appeared to be jammed. Kara gestured to Alex to move back. "Don't shatter it," Alex warned before she scooted away toward the other side of the roof. Kara carefully pried the window open and Alex crawled through. "Thank you," she whispered.

She tried to keep her head down, but Kara immediately noticed the tears on her face. Kara shut the window and joined Alex in her bed. "I don't want to talk about it," Alex said definitively. Kara nodded, and patiently waited.

"Did you hear mom earlier today?" Alex asked. "When we saw the Pride parade?"

"I think she was just frustrated about the traffic," Kara said, trying to comfort Alex.

Alex shot Kara a dirty look. "She said, 'I believe in equality but I don't see why being gay is something to _celebrate._ ''"

They laid in silence for another moment. Kara sat up and turned toward Alex. "You know I love you no matter what, right?"

Alex sat up too, somehow feeling attacked by Kara's declaration. Alex frequently criticized her mother's remarks, but always reminded Kara (and herself) that she was just an ally. Kara was clearly implying something else this time. "Kara, have you been spying on me?" She accused.

"No!" Kara exclaimed. Alex looked unconvinced. Kara took a deep breath. "I woke up tonight and knew you weren't home because I couldn't hear your heartbeat. I was really worried because you usually tell me when you're sneaking out, so I went looking for you."

"And..." Alex prompted, knowing that wasn't the end of the story.

"And when I got to the diner, I saw-"

"Saw? We weren't even by a window!" Alex interrupted.

"I used my x-ray vision," Kara admitted, hanging her head down.

"And you saw me and-"

Kara nodded. "But like I said, Alex I love you, no matter what."

"I'm not gay," she spat out.

"Okay," Kara said. She reached for Alex's hand.

"I like girls," Alex said aloud, for the first time. "But I also like guys," she added quickly.

"Okay," Kara said again.

"You know how your powers are a part of you, but it's better that no one knows?" Kara nodded. "I think this is like that too."

"Jeremiah says I HAVE to hide them though" Kara challenged, "so I can have a normal life."

"Yeah," Alex replied. "I think I do too," She said solemnly.

"Okay," Kara said again. Unsure of what else she could do, she kissed Alex's forehead and laid beside her sister until she fell asleep.

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"You told me you needed to hide who you are in order to have a normal life. But Alex, times have changed. Do you really still feel that way?"

Alex put the lid onto the ice cream container and walked it over to the freezer as she thought about a response.

"I did," she said. "Even when DOMA was overturned, even when marriage equality came to National City and then became nationwide, I still didn't want to come out. Even when mom started talking excitedly about Callie and Arizona on Grey's Anatomy," Alex chuckled, "I still felt it would be easier to be straight. I thought it would be easier to try to end up with a man. Our life has always been so abnormal as is, I just wanted something normal so badly."

"And now?"

Alex sighed. "And now all I want in this entire world is Maggie. And I can't even imagine anything feeling more normal, more right, than spending my life with her."

Kara grinned and wrapped her arms around Alex. "I know it's hard to wait," she comforted. "But have a good feeling about this one."


End file.
